HAPPY NATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!

HELLO!

DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT YELLING AT YOU, I’M NOT EVEN TERRIBLY ENTHUSIASTIC, I JUST HAVE ONE SPECIAL BUTTON PRESSED ON MY KEYBOARD – THAT’S ALL.

FIRST OFF, I’M EXCITED TO PROMOTE A COOL NEW PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY CALLED THE ‘CUBIT’! YOU KNOW HOW EVERYONE SAYS, “WOULDN’T LIFE BE SO MUCH EASIER IF I HAD A LOCATOR DEVICE FOR MY PHONE AND KEYS!?'” WELL, THIS PRODUCT CAN DO THAT! IT CAN ALSO BE A MAGIC 8 BALL, MOTION DETECTOR, SMART DOG COLLAR, TIME KEEPER, CALL NOTIFIER, AND BASICALLY WHATEVER ELSE YOU CAN IMAGINE. I THINK THE MOST EXCITING THING IS THAT IT DOESN’T HAVE ONE SPECIFIED USE – YOU CAN USE IT TO FIT YOUR UNIQUE NEEDS. DOES THIS LITTLE GADGET SPARK YOUR INTEREST? GO TO THEIR WEBSITE GETCUBIT.COM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PRODUCT AND THEIR KICKSTARTER, WHICH LAUNCHES TODAY. I HOPE IT REALLY TAKES OFF BECAUSE THIS ITEM IS EXACTLY WHAT EVERYONE HAS BEEN DREAMING OF! JUST READ THEIR SLOGAN – “ENERGIZE YOUR STYLE AND STAY CONNECTED WITH ALL THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.” …PERFECT!

SECONDLY, HOW ANNOYING IS THIS TYPE! UGHHH. HOWEVER, I’VE VOWED TO TYPE EVERYTHING IN THIS MANNER ALL DAY, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF PASSWORDS BECAUSE… OBVIOUSLY. WE’LL SEE HOW LONG I CAN HANDLE THIS. HOPEFULLY I DON’T HAVE TO EMAIL A PROFESSOR OR ANYTHING BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY NORMAL EXPLANATION THERE COULD BE WOULD BE MY LEVEL OF INTOXICATION. NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE A NATIONAL HOLIDAY…

CARRIE

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