Happy International Day of Non-violence!



Seriously my life has gone from suffer-able to hell hole in the duration of a day.  And I really don’t mean to be dramatic here, but come on! First of all, let’s start with the story that I’ve been putting off these last few days:

So I was so excited last June when I toured my new apartment building and saw the new-ness of all the amenities like the gym and laundry facilities in the building itself as well as the entire kitchen and television. The bedrooms are tiny and cute (most emphasis on tiny) and the whole apartment had a glow to it like it was just set and ready to move into. Imagine my shock and horror as we start carting my belongings in and look around to see filth, dirt, and more dirt. Do you see that smiley face that we cleaned into the wood floor? That’s how dirty the floor was! There was literally food growing in the bottom of the fridge, remnants of food littering the cupboards, and mysterious splatters of grime across not only the entire countertop, wall, and stove, but also across all of the cupboards! I suppose that grime really is the key word here and there’s no other way to describe it. It’s grime that fights back hard because it’s had its way for so long. Even the cupboard handles are sticky with who knows what and the shower curtain rod in our bathroom refuses to slide normally because of the sticky grime that has covered even that! I suppose this would be a good time to tell you that my building housed its first residents last fall. That’s right, 1 year ago. One year. 365 days of use and it has reached the sorry state that it is today because apparently people are pigs, disgusting pigs. Now, I don’t really care how the previous tenants lived – let their food spoil in the fridge, let the flour topple in the cupboards, let the mud splatter the entryway. What I do care about is the building having the decency as an enterprise, not even for my sake but for theirs, to produce a product that is worth the enormous amount that I’m putting up to live here. Let’s get this straight, if I had known before I signed this lease that I would be moving into a filthy mess that I would personally have to sweat through and clean without a care from management I wouldn’t have even walked in the door. I would rather live cooped up in the dorm again with some stranger I don’t talk to than begin to consider living here. And it’s one thing to realize the problem and act on a solution but the current situation is shrugging shoulders, empty promises to help, and the occasional giggle at our misfortune. It absolutely infuriates me. And then when they are ‘helping’ I come home to a job half done. Literally half of the floor looked livable and the other half, just 4 steps into the doorway is untouched. This is what work ethic has come to? I can actually see the strokes of the mop, or buffer, or chainsaw that you used to lift out some of the dirt where they stop. It’s ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. So today I’ve just had enough. If I could move out right now, I would. The kitchen is as clean as we can manage at the moment and I suppose that the grease will remain caked on until next year’s tenants. I will personally stand outside when lease signing comes around to warn everyone about this disaster because although we might be the only room in the situation, although by the severity of it I doubt we’re alone, it sure has made at least one first week a complete buzzkill.

Now onto the next, continually depressing order of business: I’m sick. I’m sure that the stress and negative energy about this apartment situation has not helped my health, if not aided the deterioration, and it’s getting nearly unbearable. I’m very rarely sick, if ever, and when it hits me I’m so unaccustomed to it that I don’t manage well. This cold has hit me like a freight train and if I could throw myself out the window to make it better, I would. On top of all of this one of my classes is looking like an unbearable disappointment with a terrible, terrible professor and I’m dreading the rest of the year that I have to suffer through it. Oh, and my printer has taken a day off from reality and refuses to work or talk or listen and HP has revoked my rights to Tech Support. And as if all of this was not enough, I have ensemble auditions tomorrow for which I am too listless (and busy) today to prepare for and a piano proficiency exam on Friday morning that has been, and continues to be, one of the most frustrating and confusing messes to sort through with no clear guidance, guidelines, or materials.

Alright, is that everything? Now it’s out of my system. The bad energy is gone. It’s been spewed onto this page for you all to read, or at least skim through (I hope), and perhaps you’ll send me some prayers and good wishes my way. This is my completely selfish act of non-violence for the day. Instead of attacking the Maintenance Workers, tossing back seven benadryl pills, barking at my professor, screaming at Tech Support, or accosting the piano area I will remain calm, cool, and collected. I will think about my words and pick and choose only those that will help me overcome in a positive way and I will not inflict pain on anyone else in an attempt to numb my own. Let’s all take a deep breath and realize we’ll get through it, even if my longest blog post in 4 months is a continuous rant of life’s cruelty. We can do this, together.



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